You want everyone in the family to be a part of cleaning the house. But ask yourself: Are you sabotaging those beginner efforts instead of encouraging them?
The following rules are designed to help you help the rest of the family successfully complete the weekly housekeeping chores in a positive environment.
That's one in which the jobs get done and everyone shares a sense of accomplishment. Success!
If you have so many rules - about when chores get done, how well they are done, how much time must be spent to complete a chore - you'll do more to defeat a child's natural inclination to want to want to please her parent than encourage it.
If your standards are too high for a 6-year-old, she'll never feel the satisfaction of a job well-done (at least considering her age.) And she's much more likely to be obstinate the next time chores are required of her.
As the time-honored saying goes, it isn't what you say, it's what you do that will stick with your kids.
If
your papers, books and DVDs are neatly filed and stacked, your child
just might think twice before he leaves his stuff on the floor.
So do the right thing, whether the kids are around or not. After all, you may as well lead the way.
An
age-appropriate chore
should take a child no more than 15- to 30 minutes a day, max.
Resist the temptation to assign too many chores that send your children
off on their own. From a kid's point of view, cleaning his bedroom after
school each day is downright banishment.
Better still: Create a family cleanup time each day or once a week. Misery loves company, and the dirty jobs have to be done.
Don't be too picky about your child's results; he is, after all, a
child. (Okay, you can press the perfection point a bit harder with your
teens.)
And whatever you do, don't let your son or daughter see
you redoing a job. When a child feels successful at something, she's
more likely to continue doing it.
While one goal of housekeeping with kids is to help you take a load off, the more important goal is to teach your children the life skills they'll need t run a clean, organized, efficient home someday on their own.
Take the time to show your child how to succeed at a given task. For example, tell your teen about the wonders of bleach on white cotton polos and about its devastating effect on black Lycra running shorts before sending him off to the laundry room.
Don't tell your preschooler to clean up his room. That's too daunting.
Say, `Let's put all the dinosaurs in the red tub." Then, when that task
is complete, continue with `Now let's put our crayons into the cup."
You
might not even get the room totally clean on the first attempt. The
goal is to make kids feel good about what they did. Make the job small
enough to do well.
Whenever possible, set up your home with housecleaning with kids in
mind. Stash a stool in the laundry room so even your littlest family
member can help load the washer.
Place breakfast dishes on a bottom shelf within reach of your 4-year-old so she can set the table herself.
Make "good" good enough. Unless, of course, it's an older child trying
to get away with sloppy work. They'll have no satisfaction in a job well
done, an extremely important concept most of us want to instill in our
kids before they head off on their own.
In that case, you'll need
to tell her the work just isn't up to par, and that she'll need to do
it again, and again, if necessary, until she gets it (almost) perfect.
Be effusive in your praise. Remember the last aced test proudly thrust in your hands after school? Our little ones clearly delight in our joy at the work of their hands.
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About the Author
Tara Aronson is a native Californian. Having grown up in San Diego, she studied journalism and Spanish to pursue a career in newspaper writing. Tara, whose three children - Chris, Lyndsay, and Payne - are the light of her life, now lives and writes in Los Angeles. She also regularly appears on television news programs throughout the U.S.
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