Declutter Before the Holidays: The One In, Two Out Rule

Here's some holiday math nobody teaches in school.

Every December, a few dozen new things come into your house: sweaters, gadgets, toys, candles, that bath gift set with the lotion nobody will ever use, and at least one item from Aunt Linda that you will never fully understand.

And every December, the number of things that leave your house is roughly zero. Do that for 20 or 30 years and you don't have a home. You have a storage unit with a couch in it.

This year, let's flip the math. Before the first package lands on the porch, make room. Here's how.

The Quick Answer

To declutter before the holidays, estimate how many gifts are coming into your home, then clear out at least twice that many items. Start with the categories where gifts land: toys, clothes, kitchen gadgets and bath products. Donate them before December, when charities need them most, and you'll have room for every new thing that arrives.

What Is the "One In, Two Out" Rule?

You've probably heard of "one in, one out": every time something new comes in, something old goes. It's a fine rule. It's also a rule for staying exactly as cluttered as you already are.

One in, two out means for every new item that comes into your home, two go out. A new sweater arrives? Two old sweaters leave. The kids get a new board game? Two games with missing pieces go. It's the only version of the rule that actually gives you back space.

And the best time to start isn't after the gifts arrive, when you're buried in wrapping paper and goodwill. It's now, before.

Step 1: Make a Gift Forecast

This takes five minutes. Think about who in your household usually gets gifts and roughly how many. Then think about what kinds of gifts tend to show up.

Kids getting 10 toys each? That's 20 toys that need to leave first. Does your mother-in-law reliably send a sweater? There goes the sweater drawer's two weakest members. You don't need exact numbers. You just need a target, so you know when you're done.

Step 2: Declutter Where the Gifts Will Land

Don't try to declutter the whole house. That's a January project, and maybe a whole book (more on that below). Right now, focus only on the categories where new gifts are about to pile up.

Toys and games: Pull out anything broken, missing pieces, outgrown or ignored since summer. Puzzles with three pieces missing are not puzzles. They're cardboard.

Clothes and coats: Clear out what doesn't fit, hasn't been worn in a year, or is waiting for a "someday" that hasn't come. Coats in good shape are especially welcome at winter coat drives right now.

Kitchen gadgets: If you own two garlic presses, three ice cream scoops and a spiralizer you used exactly once in 2019, this is your moment. Keep the best one of each, and let the rest go.

The bath gift set graveyard: Every bathroom cabinet has one. Shower gels, lotions and bath bombs from holidays past, unopened and untouchable. Many shelters and food banks welcome unopened toiletries, so pass them on to someone who will use them.

Books, games and movies: Donate the books you've read and won't reread, and the DVDs from the era when you had a DVD player.

Candles: You have too many. Everybody has too many. If you haven't lit it in a year, give it away.

The holiday decorations themselves: As you unpack this year's decorations, cull the broken, the faded and the ones you never actually put out.

Step 3: Get Past the Two Big Excuses

If decluttering were easy, we'd all live in magazine spreads. Two thoughts stop most of us cold.

"But it was a gift." Gifts are meant to bring joy when they're given, not guilt for the next 30 years. The person who gave it to you wants you to be happy, not to keep a decorative ceramic goose in a closet out of obligation. Thank the goose for its service and let it go.

"But I might need it someday." Maybe. Here's a reality check that works: if you could replace it in under 20 minutes for under $20, and you haven't used it in a year, let it go. The odds that you'll need it are low, and the cost of being wrong is one quick trip to the store.

For true sentimental treasures, the kids' first drawings or your grandmother's recipe cards, keep the best and let the rest go. You don't need every drawing to remember the artist. Take a photo of anything you'd like to remember but don't need to store.

Step 4: Get It Out of the House This Week

A donation bag that sits in the hall closet until Easter isn't decluttering. It's just relocating. Schedule a drop-off and get it out of the house within a week.

• Donate early. Charities, shelters and toy drives need donations before the holidays, not after, so your outgrown toys and coats can do the most good if they go out now.
• Ask for a donation receipt. Some donations may be tax-deductible, so keep the receipt.
  
• Sell the valuable stuff through a local buy-nothing or marketplace group, but give yourself a deadline. If it hasn't sold in two weeks, donate it.
  
• Recycle old electronics properly. Many electronics stores and local waste programs take old phones, chargers and gadgets for responsible recycling.
  
• Toss what's truly broken. Broken and stained items aren't donations. They're someone else's trash problem.
  

How to Get Kids on Board

Kids can be surprisingly good at this, if you frame it right.

• Call it making room. "Let's make room for new toys" is a much easier sell than "Let's get rid of your stuff."
• Let them choose. Give them a box and a goal ("fill this box"), and let them decide what goes. They'll be more generous when it's their call.
  
• Make it about giving. Explain that their outgrown toys will go to kids who need them this holiday season. Many kids love that idea.
  
• Don't overrule their treasures. That ratty stuffed rabbit stays. Pick your battles.
  

Head Off the Clutter Before It Arrives

You can't control what people give you, but you can steer it a little.

• Share a wish list with relatives who ask, so you get things you actually want.
• Suggest experiences and consumables: museum memberships, movie tickets, lessons, favorite treats, nice olive oil. They bring joy without needing a shelf.
  
• Start a regift box for brand-new items that aren't right for you but might be perfect for someone else. Just label who gave you what. Regifting a candle back to the person who gave it to you is a rookie mistake.
  

On the Big Day: One In, Two Out in Real Time

Keep a trash bag and a recycling bag nearby while gifts are opened, and break down boxes right away. Then, as you put each new gift away, pull out the two things it's replacing. The new slippers go in the closet, and the two old pairs go straight into the donation bag.

It's much easier to do on the spot than to face a pile of new stuff in January with no place to put it.

Frequently Asked Questions

The Bottom Line: Make Room Now, Thank Yourself Later

New things are coming. That part's not up to you. Whether they have a place to go is.

Spend a couple of weekends clearing out where the gifts will land, get the donations out the door, and stick to one in, two out when the presents arrive. You'll start the new year with a home that has more room in it, not less. Imagine that.

If one closet made you realize the whole house could use a little help, that's exactly what my book is for. Room by Room: How to Declutter a Lifetime of Stuff and Get Your Space Back walks you through every room in your home, with no guilt and no lectures, including how to handle sentimental items and the "just in case" stuff that's hardest to let go.

It's available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback and hardcover.

Keep Going

Get the rest of your house ready for the holidays with these related guides:

•      Your 6-Week Holiday House Countdown: What to clean when, so December isn't a disaster.

•      Speed Cleaning Your Home: Make your house look noticeably cleaner in just 30 minutes.

•      House Cleaning Schedule: Create a manageable routine for your home.

•      Guest Room Boot Camp: Make your spare room (or pull-out couch) feel like a hotel.

•      Donate Before You Decorate: How to clear out before the holiday boxes come down. 

•      Unpacking the Holiday Decorations Without Losing Your Mind: Get the decorations up without losing a whole weekend.

•      Build a Gift-Wrap Station: Corral paper, ribbon and tape in one spot. 

•      Where Do I Put All This New Stuff?: Making room for gifts, and letting go of what they replaced.